Growing up.

I’m 18 now! A real adult!

I’ve had to start thinking about what i realistically want to do and I’ve had to start planning out and creating a map for my future, going to schools that have what I’m interested in, choosing a place to live for the next four years! Crazy.

So many things have changed just after this last couple months of not being in school. My schedule, my friends, my job(s). And many things are the same but feel different.

I’ve stopped doing things that I felt a false sense of obligation to do and sometimes that’s hard. I’ve been seeing certain people less because of my schedule and it sometimes feels unfair but I realize that that’s JUST life.

Next year I’ll only see my REAL people. The people who have been there for me and that I’ve been with from the beginning. People who have never and won’t ever give up on me.

These changes do feel big but they also feel small. This will all change again next year. And the next year after that, and the three years after that. Life goes through cycles and we know this but we’re never fully ready for when they come. I want to be able to adapt, control my emotions and create good out of the bad. I want to be my own rock, but you can’t do it alone. You need a routine and people to lean on. Maybe not the same routine all the time. Maybe not the same people, but as things are changing and we feel dazed, we have to have that person, thing, saying, practice to go back to.

The other concern is are YOU ready? Have you made yourself open to new experiences, new people? I’m guilty of wanting to stay with my same old ways with the same people but you have to know for yourself if this is healthy for you. Is this the best choice to make moving forward? Will these things hold you back? These questions can be overwhelming and they often cause me to only look at the big picture which puts a lot of weight on the one decision I’m making, but no one can choose for you. No one knows you better than yourself.

In times of change, relax yourself, this is not the end all be all. It will be okay.

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